If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
