So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
