why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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