i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
