you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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