Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
