you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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