Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
