He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
