If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
