Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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