I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize