At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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