I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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