tell your sister to shave her snatch
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
