too bad you live with your parents still
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Success! We fucked roommates!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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