I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
