i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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