get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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