if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
