Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
