I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
