I want to have your abortion
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize