I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
