I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
