I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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