I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
