i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize