he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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