I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
