My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
