My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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