Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize