: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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