for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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