pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
