I cannot find my penis.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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