I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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