it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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