You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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