tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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