You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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