I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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