I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
