i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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