Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.