you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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