He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
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only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Never let your siblings swipe right.