u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.