Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
