Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
