remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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