: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
