u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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