lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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