I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
