At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
