He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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