just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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