I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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