i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
