I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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