i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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