can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it because I queefed?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize