I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
